An Irishman walked into a bar in Dublin, ordered three pints of Guinness and sat at the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished them, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.
The bartender approached and told him: "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replied: "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each me brothers and one for me self."
The bartender admitted that this was a fine tradition, and left it there. The Irishman became a regular in the bar, and always drank the same way: He ordered three pints and drank them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered two pints. All the other regulars took notice and fell silent.
When he came back to the bar for the second round, the bartender said: "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The Irishman looked quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawned and he laughed. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explained.
"It's just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. But it hasn't affected my brothers though."
Cover: depositphotos.com
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: The Magic Scales
A woman goes over to a weight machine while waiting for a bus. To her amazement, the machine talks back to her and appears to be able to predict the future...
Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot
When you've got a robot that dishes out slaps every time someone lies, maybe it's sometimes best not even to know the truth at all!
Joke: The Terrible Snoring
The guys decided to go on a camping trip, only there was one big problem...
Joke: The Devil Has a Schedule to Keep...
This joke begins with a man reaching the gates of hell and meeting Satan.
Joke: 15 Shots of Whisky
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.
Simon's Cat Leaves His Owner Out in the Cold!
Watch this latest Christmas Special episode of Simon's Cat.
Kitchens Aren’t Supposed to Be Like This! Are They?!
Why would you design your kitchen like this?
Hilarious: These Signs Are as Funny as It Gets!
From clever puns to unintentionally hilarious signs, this epic collection of 16 funny signs has it all!
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
Hilarious: The Truth About Vincent Van Gogh's Family...
Like most people, I'm very familiar with Vincent van Gogh's incredibly artistry, but I never realized how large his extended family was until I saw this post.
Enjoy a Hilarious Dose of Animal Pranks!
Enjoy a hilarious compilation of the best animal pranks by Just for Laughs
These Vintage Family Christmas Cards Are So Bizarre!
Please don’t laugh at these weird family Christmas cards from the 1950s and 1960s.
20 Ho, Ho, Hilarious Christmas Quotes to Make You Chuckle
Get ready to welcome the holidays with these hilarious Christmas quotes.
And the Award for the WEIRDEST Subway Passenger Goes To...
Riding the subway is worth it just to encounter these passengers.
Comedy Gold: Enjoy This Rib-Tickling Laurel & Hardy Clip
Enjoy this hilarious clip from a Laurel and Hardy short titled ‘The Snow Hawk’.
These Dogs Clearly Overestimated Their Physical Abilities...
Watch the hilarious video collection of dogs who fail at being dogs.
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
18 Funny Animal Pics That'll Give You Some Cheer!
Here is a collection of some adorably funny animals being silly and cute at the same time.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Funny Solutions!
Take a look at these 17 hilarious fixes and DIY projects and marvel at the creativity of the people who came up with them.
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
Funny Insults: 16 of the Wittiest Comebacks in History
These witty historical retorts show that insults were once an art.
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Hilarious Birthday Bloopers Make the Best Belly Laughs
These hilarious birthday bloopers will have you laughing all day!
Can You Watch This Entire Video Without Laughing?
From guilty dogs, to funny cat fails, monkeys, funny squirrels, horses and so on. Take a look at this hilarious compilation:
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
If I Can’t Hug Them, Then Why Are These Animals SO CUTE?
These are the last animals you’d think of as ‘cute,’ yet here they are, looking as silly and precious as our beloved pets.
These Photos Prove That DIY Isn’t For Everyone
DIY isn’t for everyone, and these pictures prove it.
15 Witty Doormats That'll Make You Grin!
When was the last time you thought about your doormat? These 15 mats will make you wish your home had more doors.
How the Heck Did They End Up Writing THAT?
Here's a fresh dose of hilarious translation fails from different countries and languages!
30 Hilarious Babies Who Look More Like Seniors!
Newborns are adorable... but these babies look a lot older than their actual age.
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
I've Never Seen Translations Fail This Hard
These hilariously terrible translations will make you laugh your socks off!
Hilarious: Some Guys REALLY Think Outside the Box...
Here are some of my favorite examples of male creativity at work.
Hilarious: Some of the Funniest Shop Names I've Seen!
These restaurants are worth visiting just for their hilarious names!
Funny Cartoons NEVER Go Out of Style!
Time to laugh out loud with these hilarious comics by Leigh Rubin.
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
The Classic Comedy of Rowan Atkinson: A Full Performance!
The comedy of Rowan Atkinson like you've never seen him before - a full performance!
20 Weird and Terrifically Hilarious Signs…
These hilariously bizarre signs are just what we needed today.
WARNING: These Signs Will Make You Howl with Laughter
Here, we present to you the best and funniest signs we've seen so far this year, enjoy!
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Bizarre Signs!
These are the most ludicrous and unnecessary signs I have ever seen in my life. Laugh at the bonkers things we are told to do by these ubiquitous notices.
I Can't Stop Laughing at These Hilarious Wedding Photos
From cows making babies to groomsmen falling into the ocean, here are some of the most sidesplitting wedding photobombs you'll ever see.
19 Photos Proving That Sleeping Pets Is the Funniest Thing
Have you ever caught your pet in an awkward sleeping position? If so, you know these can be really hilarious!