Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Man is Fatally Slain.
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply