“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager