"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer