“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
“Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.”
― Unknown
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain