“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Education cost money. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
"The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit."
~ Dwight Morrow
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.