“Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
“This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
“If each day is a “gift,” I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
“At the end of a rainbow, there’s a pot of gold. But when the weekend comes to an end, there’s only a Monday.”
“Monday: One of those days when even when your coffee needs a coffee.”
“May your coffee be extra strong, and your Monday be extra short.”
“Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.”
“Monday is great if I can spend it in bed. I’m a man of simple pleasures, really.”
– Arthur Darvill
“My Week is like: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Blink, Monday.”
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
“Monday, you're so jealous of my relationship with Sunday because I am so happy to see you leave!”
“Hello, Monday! May I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Don’t you have a hobby?”
“This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.”
– Lisa Mantchev
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life!”
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“Take a deep breath and try to relax. I promise – Monday will be over soon.”
“If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
“I don’t like when I'm all stress-free and peacefully relaxing on the couch and then, out of nowhere, Monday comes along and punches you right off the couch!”
“I have decided to cast my vote for any political candidate whose platform adds Monday to the weekend.”
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
“Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
“Someone should enact a holiday that honors all people who turn up for work on Mondays.”
“Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
“If Monday was a gift, I would happily return it to the person who gave it to me.”
“I’ve drank multiple cups of coffee, and Monday isn’t looking any better. Hey – give me a beer. Let’s see if that helps.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Hello and welcome to Monday. Do you take sugar, cream, or Valium in your morning coffee?”
“Monday I shall slay thee with my mighty cup of coffee.”
“SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.”
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
“What is your favorite day of the week, and why it is your favorite day of the week? Mine is Tuesday because that means Monday is gone.”
“Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.”
— Rebecca Gober
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
“Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.”
– George Leedy
“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Mondays. Don’t worry, you’re regularly scheduled happiness will resume again on Friday.”
“Monday again? Is it every week now?”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
“Why is Monday so far from Friday? And why is Friday so close to Monday?”
“Unfortunately, I did not become a millionaire over the weekend, so I have to return to work on Monday.”
“Never make your favorite song the alarm for Monday morning; you’ll hate it for years.”
“I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
“I really don’t play well with others on a Monday. Can I skip today and just start again with Tuesday?”
“Monday should be optional.”
“So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends — but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.”
“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.”
— Jarod Kintz
“Dear Mondays, I really think that you should take a holiday. Believe me, no one will even miss you.”
“Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
“I don’t like Sunday nights because you have to wake up to a Monday morning.”
“Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won't know when Monday starts.”