"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." - Richard Lewis
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown