What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words