I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
We should make like your parents and split.
You look like my future ex wife.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
"My cat doesn't like you."
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
I think we need to become better strangers.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.