I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!