I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
A Barceloaner.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
My uncle moved to Spain to sing on stage by night and sell UPVC windows by day. He changed his name to....
Enrique Doubleglazius.
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
It’s time to say Versailles to France.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
What do you call a cat from Italy?
Spacatti.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
French, French Revolution
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
How do cats say goodbye in Italy?
Miao.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
What do you call a Jamaican man born in Italy?
Reggae-Toni.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.