What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
"Sip happens."
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.