As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Car puns are really tiring
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.