What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!