Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.