What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!