Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop