What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.