Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.