Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.