My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.