Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.