Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
How can you tell if you’ve told a really funny Irish joke?
People will be Dublin over with laughter!
I’m a small Irish creature who has been diagnosed with a serious sickness. It’s Leprechronic.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
When I went to my favorite Irish cafe after years, I felt deja brew all over again.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
What is it called when two Irish couples go out on a date?
Dublin.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
Don’t worry, Moher pictures are coming.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
I am happy that the arrangements for St Patrick's day are going great. The large bottles of green soda look pitcher-perfect.
Irish food is legen-dairy.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Irish I had better jokes.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
In Ireland, when the cows are in the road it’s udder chaos.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
Ireland is a little lamb-boyant.
Jameson on St. Patrick’s Day? It’s worth a shot.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
I’m feelin’ green.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
What do you call a bulletproof Irish man?
Rick O’Shay.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Just look, it’s the Trifle Tower
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
You’re my lucky charm.
Dublin over in laughter.