Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
It was too expensive to fly and too long to walk.
The food here is quite so-fish-ticated.
What's Irish and stays out all night?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Visitors are Doolin over these gorgeous views.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
Dublin over in laughter.
Why did the two Irish men fight amongst themselves?
They can’t find any other worthy opponents.
St. Patrick’s is all about the pursuit of hoppiness!
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
In Ireland, they really like to ham it up.
I love when you coddle me.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
What kind of person would sell someone a sham-rock?
A lepre-con!
Are people jealous of the Irish?
Yeah, they’re green with envy.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use?
Lucky Charms!
Remember, Irish puns on St. Patrick's Day don't just shame you. They Seamus all.
A trip to Ireland is quite a cliffhanger.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
Did you hear about the Irishman that drank 100 liters of stout in just 30 minutes?
They’re calling it a Guinness World Record.
Why did Saint Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
They were causing mass hiss-teria!
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day?
BOOs.
I saw some leprechauns putting coins in the vending machine but in vain. They were using lepre-coins.
In Ireland, I call the shots.
It ain’t over till it’s clover.
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Why shouldn’t you iron a four-leaved clover?
You don’t want to press your luck.
My grandma is 80% Irish.
People call her Iris.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
Ireland always leaves me wanting Moher.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Ireland is pitcher perfect.
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
A trip to Ireland always lifts my spirits.
Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?
They’re really into green living.
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A shamrock.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.