What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.