What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!