What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.