What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.