My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'