What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!