What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.