What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.