My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
"Ay poppy."
I like to say mucho when i’m talking to my Spanish speaking friends.
It means a lot to them.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
French people give me the crepes.
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
Where do recluses live in Spain?
Barceloner.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
In Italy there is a group pf moms creating soft cheese...
They brand themselves as MOMzarella.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
A mummified macaroni pizza was uncovered in Italy today.
The man who uncovered it says "It's a pizza of our pasta."
Whats a good Spanish sports channel?
ESBieN.
When I went to highschool in Italy my classmates were one year older than me.
I Skipped pasta grade.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician