If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.