Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
You seem a little mer-mad.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Long time no sea.
You mermaid to go far.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Seas the day!
Don't fork-get your manners.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Fishing you a happy day.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
---
You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
We were mermaid for each other.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.