What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.
I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
All punts are highly intended
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
Calm before the score
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.