It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.