Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking