Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows