Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."