The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
Biology - It grows on you.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.