Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Don't get tide down.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.