What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.