Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.