What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.