Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr