Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.