I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.