I had a colonoscopy yesterday and I think the doctor must have got carried away.
I said to him, "Can you back that up a little, it's irritating my tonsils."
Had a colonoscopy the other day,
Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
I have inner beauty.
And I have the video from my colonoscopy to prove it.
That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy
He's pretty ham-fisted
A proctologist is about to write a something on his patient's notes but when he goes to take his pen out of his pocket he realizes it's actually his thermometer that's there.
He says, "Darn, some a**hole has my pen."
"Straight ahead for a bit then there's a sharp left, so take it slowly." I said.
"The screen is for MY benefit, Mr. Anderson," said the doctor, "and this isn't my first colonoscopy."
The doctor told me he found something alarming in my colonoscopy.
Turns out it was a clock.
I just got my colonoscopy results:
The doctor gave me two thumbs up!
My father had a colonoscopy.
Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
What do you call an Irish proctologist?
Colin O'Scopy.
I had a colonoscopy recently and believe it or not getting the camera up there doesn't hurt as much as you might think.
It's the crew that's the killer.
Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious,
shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing!
Or as my doctor insists on calling it... a colonoscopy
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
Someone I know gave a really deep speech to convince me to go for a colonoscopy
What else can I say?
Something touched me deep inside.
I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.
Now I’m in arrears.
"Your Colonoscopy went well, I understand." Said Sherlock to Watson.
"No s**t, Sherlock."
I only lost 2 pounds while taking laxatives for a colonoscopy.
I guess I'm not as full of crap as I thought.
What should the real name for a colonoscopy be?
A colonoscopoo.
What's the difference between a colonoscopy and an endoscopy?
The taste.
Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.